Zodiac Chaos!...Make it stop!

Nothing changed. Your Zodiac sign still says the same thing about you as it did before the change ; That you're a moron...

Horoscopes seem to fascinate people of all walks of life. I won't take this time to go into the details of what they are or where they come from; by this point in your life you probably know your sign and you've probably been told by an ignorant friend all about the reason your relationships fail due to astrological incompatibility issues. I, for one, can't get enough of people who think that the relative position of distant celestial bodies to our planet and our nearest star have anything at all to do with my personality (But then again, those people are probably just thinking... typical distant Aquarius!)

For those who do partake in that wonderful ignorance however, I have some good news! Your sign can't change! Not unless you don't even follow the first thing about the thing you shouldn't be following in the first place! Arg! Ur making the science part of my brain ache!

So here's the scoop: The Earth wobbles. It's like the last 3 seconds of a dradle...or cheap tire balancing at your local Wal-Mart. The equator isn't really a line, it's more like a zone. The band fluctuates over time and, simply put, the Earth isn't where it used to be. So for this reason the Earth's alignment is out. There was once a time when the Sun would shine on the Earth and to the exact opposite side was a constellation (back then it would have been 1 of 12 know Zodiac signs. Although modern research shows the dates were actually off at least once every couple years.) This orientation used to line up just right and people were said to be born "under" the particular sign.

Modern sky mapping has allowed us to discover, thanks to our Earth stumbling through the cosmos, that their is another constellation (you know, those other made up things that are just pretty pictures drawn on star-maps to help the uneducated learn the names of things) added to the bunch. Now the constellations themselves aren't really defined by any actual boundaries, not in astrology at least. To determine your "sign" you would have to account for its location, its boundaries, the time of year, whether it's a leap year, the position of the Sun, the Earth's orbit... all of these factors (and more) would have to be identified and calculated.

Needless to say, even with the ballpark approximations we make and the general rules we give, the "sign" you were born as is still now, and will always be, your sign. Because you see, if you are one of the unfortunate people who believes in astrology, what matters to you most in terms of your "sign" is where everything was sitting at the time of your uteral slide! (Which if you're catholic I assume you would be under the star sign of when you were conceived... the Church is pretty adamant about when you became "life"... so why don't you ask your parents where the stars were hanging while they were banging!)

Long story short; you are what you were... if you believe what you were made a difference in what you are, then you're still that. If you didn't believe what they said you were made what you are any different from what you were, and could be, then you're still that too... the thing you are, not what they said! Questions?

Now can we all just stop this celestial finger painting and naming the animal shapes we see in the sky and maybe focus on something productive!?

Cheers to general ignorance and it's ability to amuse greater minds... now I need a drink, who's with me?

-D-

---