Taking things in assisted stride...

I'm in it for the parking!
Sometimes people just can't be knocked down...even when they have only a leg to stand on.
Cheers to taking it in stride; the world needs more people who are made of awesome!


Media twist!...of the day!

For once we're not talking about a horrible timing or a play on words... you all remember the slogan "There's no stopping a Toyota," because that went over quite well when people died due to stuck accelerators. No, it's not that kind of story at all.

This post was borderline belonging on the Niagara Blog, but I figured it was witty and funny enough for the world to see. Now for a quick bit of background for those not from here: 
There's a University in St.Catharines Ontario by the name of Brock U. The school is named after a general in the war of 1812 where Canada kicked the States's butt in close combat. The school is actually quite academic and doesn't get the cred. it deserves. Unfortunately for the school a mocking rhyme is persistently repeated amongst those who find it easy to get into the school, and it goes like this: "If you can walk and talk, you can go to Brock!"

Obviously the school doesn't appreciate this slogan much; After a few years of it being jokingly tossed around, the school is fighting back with a video campaign that pretty much right out tells the hater: "Hey, Brock U!"  (Really? did he just type that... I might have gone with "Go Brock yourself!" still...lame!)

Can you say Owned the Trolls!?  I absolutely love what they've done here. Take that! global perception of Brock's academic integrity... To anyone who's ever been mocked behind their back, this video is a prime example of how to school the haters. 

Cheers to media-spin! These guys pretty much knocked it outta the park!

Bill O'Reilley continues beating dead horse...

Of course I mean that metaphorically... although that would make for a much better video! No this is just Bill O'Reilley jabbering on again about how the tides prove there's a God... try to watch this without laughing, it ruins the drama.
Please, would someone take the camera away from Grampa! He's going to hurt the global IQ level...

So here's how it breaks down; There is everything wrong with Bill's argument, and anyone with an IQ above 30 could figure that out. (Oh yeh... you can take a break from eating paste, view this video, laugh knowingly, and go right back to your sticky bowel obstruction!) There is however one thing that bugs me about these videos; Bill keeps telling everyone that tides are regular. (He also tells you he talks to an imaginary friend and asks him for stuff...but ignore that for now.)
Bill, let me introduce you to what Canada calls "Grade 8 Science". Now I know this stuff can be a bit scary... but here's some light reading for you:
"AN abnormally high tide was experienced down the east coast of Britain on Saturday last, January 7,[1905] extensive areas being flooded and considerable destruction wrought. At 6 p.m. on Friday, January 6, as shown in the Meteorological Office reports, a very deep cyclonic system appeared over the upper part of the North Sea, the barometer at Sumburgh Head having fallen quickly to 28.7 inches." -Nature, Internation weekly journal of science.

"Tuesday, April 13, 2010- THE Fiji Meteorological Service has noted an abnormally low sea level in Rotuma.
Meteorology director Rajendra Prasad said the department had come up with two observations which included the negative sea level anomaly and the low astronomical tide. He said that there was a negative sea level anomaly with a negative 30-centimetre present in the Rotuma area.
And he believed that it was because of the El Nino phenomena." - The Fiji TIMES Online

 On the west coast of the U.S. we have Irregular tides where the difference between high and low changes and the tidal high and low changes, the plotted wave form is not symmetric like the diurnal. -TidesOnline
Tides don't "Come in, go out... no miscommunication ever," they are actually quite random at times. So if there is a designer...he's not much of an engineer! So please Bill, stop with this analogy... it's starting to grow old. (You know, old, like your mind...your world view...your...self.)

Cheers to entertainers pretending to be journalist, pretending to be educated people. I'd say he should hit the books, but I'm not sure a man of his age should be hitting anything but the road.

Well it's been a learning experience and I think we've finally found what it is that the world likes. The readers of this blog are mostly Canadians (not all, but for the sake of argument...most are liberal Canadians) and because of this I understand why the idea of telling everyone what's great about the world isn't really a hit. (Ok, it's a hit so far for about 100 unique people to sign on each day and read...but in internet speak...not a hit!) Being born in Canada is like having already won the lotto. We've got pretty sweet lives at the worst of times, and at the best, we're the envy of the world. There is just so much awesome happening each and every day in/around the Great White North, and because of that, it's just not that interesting to read.

So from here forward the blog is officially being dedicated to a whole different kind of awesome. The sort of awesome that's inspired the Canadian way for over a century! That's right, we're going Super-Sarcastic-WTH-Are-The-Crazy-Canucks-Up-To-Now Insane! The stories from here on out are going to be mostly focused on little bits of...well they are still awesome, just in a slightly skewed way.

Don't understand what I mean... well I will sum it up with this picture:


It's amazing to see where we thought we'd be in 1925... Curiously though, no flying cars!

Cheers to the future...errr...past! No, wait, the future from the far past which is todays past but not quite as past as that past... oh nevermind. Check out the larger view here!



It's that time of year again when the jingles ring in the shopping centers and anyone who works in retail develops a twitch in their left eye that could be measured with the Richter Scale

So what better time to destroy a classic 1939 R. L. May tale about an abused character who is chastised and mock until of course they needed him, when he became the most popular kid on the block!

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer 
(it wasn't alcohol related)

had a very shiny nose. 
(it was the 30's, pre-Clearasil era)
And if you ever saw him, 
(He was a deer with a bioluminescent sniffer...you'd better have seen him!)
you would even say it glows. 

(Well not really, it shines...it's not phosphorescent) 


We've all been holding our breath; it's never really New Years until...! JibJab ring'n in the new year! :)

Cheers to internet companies who make a living from awesome!

You know how the mythbusters are ridiculously awesome... you know that Craig Ferguson is ridiculously awesome... So when Grant Imahara got together with Craig Ferguson and a robotics lab... well this happened! Check it out, you won't regret it. 

Cheers to geeks meet comedians! Never a bad result.
You Know You Are Living in 2010 When:


1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.. 

As Canadians we don't get to see enough of British influence. They are, after all, our parents nation... we still aren't technically independent from our monarchical overlords... (That's right, if you're reading this, you're likely a subject of Her Majesty The Queen, Elizabeth the second... or a Yank). Long story short, this next clip is of one of my favourite comedians from the BBC and beyond, proving that the UK does commercials better! (Yeh, their commercials offer them entertainment in exchange for brand loyalty... take note America!)
Cheers to our cousins from across the pond! (Can we send the damn Old Spice guy over there in exchange?!?)